Since you alone are responsible for your thoughts, only you can change them.
You will want to change them when you realize that each thought creates according to its own nature. Remember that the law works at all times and that you are always demonstrating
according to the kind of thoughts you habitually entertain. Therefore, start now to think only those thoughts that will bring you health and happiness."

~  Paramahansa Yogananda

Fear & Loathing

I once read that your life, as it is in this moment, is the direct result of all your previous actions. It is a simple yet powerful truth. Everything I have done until this moment in time is what has created and nurtured this moment. No matter what area I look at my weight, my income, where I live, my friends, etc., it's a result of my previous actions. Being unhappy within this moment requires that I change within this moment. So many of my issues have been born of my fears. This has caused me to become self-centered, controlling and tightfisted with my life. I tell myself that my choices are made in the moment. The truth is they are calculated to protect me. My life is weighted down with things. They pack my apartment. Which means I can’t accommodate visitors nor do I have the space to entertain. By creating a situation where someone can’t come over I maintain control via a preemptory refusal. My fear is that no one would want to visit or spend time with me. Thus I protect my feelings at any cost. Actions based in fear will never yield happiness. Actions must be based in love, love of God, myself and so on in order to achieve the happiness my heart so desires.


Miracles & Blessings

Just Me...

I am STRONG because I've been weak, I am BEAUTIFUL because I know my flaws, I am a LOVER because I'm a fighter, I am FEARLESS because I've been afraid, I am WISE because I've been foolish, and I can LAUGH because I've known sadness!!"

~    Unknown

And So It Goes...

I have a group of friends affectionately known as The Fantanas. One said to me recently that dating is a numbers game. "Look at it this way...these are all practice dates so when Mr. Right comes along you'll be able to tell and be a pro at the first date"

  The past couple of days I've received several texts from D.  I had not heard from him in over a week and said so. He seemed to be under the misconception that he had been in contact with me...O Rly? That conversation ended in a stalemate. The next day he sent me a duplicate text which actually said "duplicate".  Dude....Really? I just couldn't respond. Today I get a text informing me of text to be sent later informing me if he "feels" up to getting together. Again, Dude... Really? I mean... Really? I don't hear from him again until 1:30am  What is that? I know it's not me.

I am clear this is strange behavior. No matter what may be going on in someone's life this is bull. I keep thinking back to what I've been told many times "everything is practice for the real thing".  I have heard it repeated in many different forms over and over again from many different people. I have been blessed with meeting many different men over the past several months. I'm just going to enjoy the ride for now...whatever happens...happens.

Flowers or Weeds?

"My mind is a garden... My thoughts are the seeds... My harvest will either be Flowers or Weeds" I do not know who wrote that but it is the gospel truth. Right now My garden is all weeds but I can change that. With 2009 coming to an end I have a lot of soul searching to do. Some changes I've made will be permanent and new changes are forthcoming. It's time to look at those around me in the cold light of day and what their actions have been. More importantly, time to look at my own inaction. I need 2010 to be a banner year and I will do whatever it takes to make that happened. No matter how ruthless that may be...