And So It Goes...

I have a group of friends affectionately known as The Fantanas. One said to me recently that dating is a numbers game. "Look at it this way...these are all practice dates so when Mr. Right comes along you'll be able to tell and be a pro at the first date"

  The past couple of days I've received several texts from D.  I had not heard from him in over a week and said so. He seemed to be under the misconception that he had been in contact with me...O Rly? That conversation ended in a stalemate. The next day he sent me a duplicate text which actually said "duplicate".  Dude....Really? I just couldn't respond. Today I get a text informing me of text to be sent later informing me if he "feels" up to getting together. Again, Dude... Really? I mean... Really? I don't hear from him again until 1:30am  What is that? I know it's not me.

I am clear this is strange behavior. No matter what may be going on in someone's life this is bull. I keep thinking back to what I've been told many times "everything is practice for the real thing".  I have heard it repeated in many different forms over and over again from many different people. I have been blessed with meeting many different men over the past several months. I'm just going to enjoy the ride for now...whatever happens...happens.

Flowers or Weeds?

"My mind is a garden... My thoughts are the seeds... My harvest will either be Flowers or Weeds" I do not know who wrote that but it is the gospel truth. Right now My garden is all weeds but I can change that. With 2009 coming to an end I have a lot of soul searching to do. Some changes I've made will be permanent and new changes are forthcoming. It's time to look at those around me in the cold light of day and what their actions have been. More importantly, time to look at my own inaction. I need 2010 to be a banner year and I will do whatever it takes to make that happened. No matter how ruthless that may be...

Fiending For That Creamy Crack

I have decided to go natural. As an African American women this is a major decision. This is no small part due to Chris Rock's documentary Good Hair. I have gone natural in the past but I shaved all my hair off. This time I'm growing it out. Feeling my roots is difficult. I keep expecting the hair police to hand me a summons. I do intend to keep coloring my hair, maybe even a little lighter. Saying goodbye to the creamy crack (relaxer). will be difficult. However, it's just one of the many changes I'm making in my life. ....just breath.....

Things Happen

So Thursday was very tumultuous for me. That evening I had planned on taking a sleeping pill, along with a hot cup of tea and going straight to bed. Around 12:30 F. called to give me an update on a mutual acquaintance who was going through a crisis. While I was speaking with him D. called. Of course I immediately hung on on F. to speak with D.

He was driving through my area and wanted to stop. He ask what I was doing and if I could meet him. I had on my PJ's but I said "yes". We met at the Diner a few blocks over. After talking for awhile he told me how sleepy he was and need to sleep for about an hour. The idea of him coming to my home was not even a possibility. We sat in the car and talked for awhile longer. He kissed me and laid his head on my breast and fell asleep. I don't know why but for some reason this touched me. I guess because I could never trust someone I don't know enough to fall asleep in their presences. Eventually he asked if their was a hotel nearby where he could get a few hours sleep...and if I would go with him. I did.

I really had not planned to be intimate with him but then again maybe I did. When we got to the room he sat on bed and pulled me to him. It was so natural, as if it were suppose to be him. So I went with it. Well I would like to report that it was lovely but here's where I have to honest. I have not had sex in 12 years. Yes, it seems ridiculous yet..it's oh so true. Despite what people say it is not like riding a bike. Unless your riding a bike with no seat!

It had been way tooooo long since I did it and it hurt like hell. Yes Virgina you can become a virgin again! He needed two shoe horns and a can of WD-40 to get up in there.We did everything... and I mean everything. (Hangs head in shame) I don't know what the hell all this talk about erectile dysfunction is about but it was not a problem for him! After what seemed like forever (lol) it was over. He went to sleep holding me and holding my hand. It was so very sweet. Several hours later I inched out to go to the bathroom, recover my panties and possibly my pride. When I returned he was awake and round two began.

He was very, very good. However I had to come home and take a Moltrin! I don't think I could have chosen anyone better to reintroduce me into the sins of the flesh. The best part... I feel relaxed about him and the situation. I'm not knotted up about it. I'm not stressing it. Whatever happens will happen and that's just fine. ;-)

New Beginnings

New month and a fresh start! I have to start focusing on other things. Number one being my career. Instead of spending my time in chat-rooms and worrying about meeting someone. My dear friend did light a fire under me on Saturday. I am truly thankful for her efforts. Time I would have spent avoiding what needed to done I spent getting things done! There is so much I need to accomplish. It is now week 76 for my plan. I have got to git er done! All my ideas have to come to fruition.