Today I met my husband. That sounds crazy! I am feeling things I have not felt in a long time. But I digress. When I started dating again I prayed that God would send me the man most devinely meant for me. I did not and still don't want the decision to be mine. I've gone with my best choice in the past and it didn't really work out, to say the least. This time I want more then the physical and few things in common. I want an affinity, a soft place too land, a bit of grace. Someone who respects my dignity as a women. A man who compliments my spirit. I want someone that after the unavoidable drama and messiness of life will still be there for the love. Someone who despite a difference of opinion will tread litely with my feelings. Someone who gets me and when he doesn't is OK with that.
After posting my profile online I received my fair share of hits. Most of which dead ended. My plan was to start with one site to get my feet wet. I then planned to jump to a larger more expansive site. Early on I received a hit from someone I found attractive. We chatted back and forth but eventually it fizzled out. I chalked it up to a lesson learned. Then a few weeks ago we chatted through IM. The conversation was quick and easy. We exchanged cell numbers and talked about getting together. Our conversations were so casual I told him if we had no chemistry I had friends I could introduce him to. We decided to do a group activity. I would bring a friend and so would he.
As the days past leading up to our meeting I found myself looking forward to it and I hoped he would like me. We had planned to attend an outdoor event in my area. The morning of I conferred with my girlfriend on outfits to make sure we were not dressed the same. When I checked my phone I had a text from him saying "can't make it". My feelings were hurt. I spent the next hour on the phone with my girlfriend discussing men and the situation as well as texting updates to the girls. Hey, that's how we roll! He called in the midst of this. With my friend on the house phone I put him on speaker. He said his friend had backed out and he did not want to come alone. He went on to say he did not know what he'd be walking into and he didn't want to get jumped. WTF!?!?! I was quiet which he knew was a bad sign. We spoke briefly and I asked if he still wanted to meet me? He said yes. I told him I'd call him back. This led to another hour conversation and several more texts with the girls. Then I got mad.
I had to throw down the gauntlet. I would drive to him! Despite the protest of the girls I could not let this slight stand. Again with my girlfriend on my home phone I called him back from my cell and put him on speaker. I made my proposal. He said he would meet me in the middle. We talked and he said he had made the wrong decision and still wanted to meet up that day. I said "NO" it was too late. we would meet for lunch on Tuesday. He tried three times to change back to the original plan but I held fast. We talked the day before and of course the girls questioned if I should really go. But there was something about him. Something I wanted to know. I was...feeling him.
Well today was the BIG EVENT! I kept checking my phone expecting him to cancel but he didn't. We had plans to meet at noon. He was there at 11:30. When he got out of his car I liked what I saw and he seemed to like me. The place we met for lunch was so very cute! We sat at a table and the conversation was very easy. I had several wardrobe malfunctions (my boobs were falling out of my dress...Oh My). He seemed to enjoy the view but I was mortified! I enjoyed his company and when we finished he walked me to my car. We talked for a few more minutes and then he did something I loved. With one hand he pulled me toward him and with the other he tilted my face toward his and kissed me. It was so sweet and so sensual...then he stuck his tongue in my mouth! and tramp that I am...I accepted it. He actually gave me butterflies. I was 16 years old again. I wanted to go home and write his name inside little hearts all over my notebook. I wanted to see what my name looked liked with his. I realized I could sooooooooo fall in love with him. Damn...
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