In my heart I know that God never closes one door without opening another. In my life I want to whine "but why". Why can't things and people just be the way we want them without complications. Why can't I just have what I want? I feel like a 5 year old in the midst of a temper tantrum. the funny thing is that I know some of the things I want are not good for me. I know I should walk away and be thankful I didn't get caught up. But it's hard to have faith that something better will come along. I am loathed to admit I feel bruised that "he" was not interested in me the way I was in him. I really wanted that. But here are the questions that need answers at the heart of it. Can you really get something started with someone who:
1) thinks your capable of setting them up?
2) indulges in drugs and alcohol on the regular?
3) with a young child who's grandmother seems like more of a parental figure then his father?
4) sends up numerous little red flags during conversations?
I guess the real question is: Do I really have time to waste bemoaning what could have been... wondering why he did not like me? In the end it could be 1 or 100 reasons why... and none of them are really about me. I took a chance... Spun the wheel... I didn't win... And that's OK. Time to let that one go.
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