Time to begin again...

For many reasons I've been circling this blog of mine but not posting to it. It's time for me to begin again. I guess I'm back!

Do You Have Statistics On That?

My unemployment interview was today...dun dun DUN! I was forthright and tried not to overly dramatize my situation. My interviewer was very professional and moved things along swiftly. She explained that my employer had not returned the form they were sent and she would therefore be calling them to hear their side (they have a side...really?). If necessary she would call me back for rebuttal. She called me back for rebuttal....Gee Monetra! Apparently Precious was running the show while Princessa remained silent. I was made of aware of alllll the things they never told me during my tenure. A~MaZ~ing! I recall a conversation when told that area was among the worst in the state they actually said "Do you have statistics on that? I was like...umm "The blood on the sidewalk from the three people shot last night?". According to Big Mama ALL~Might-TY that proved zilch. People especially employer's create their own reality and think everyone is just going to roll along with it but eventually karma will be the biggest & baddest bitch to hit the block! WatchOutNow!  

I think we all know this feeling!

 

Mistakes.... I've Made A Few

There are things we wish never happened or wish we had done differently. It's our life lessons and how we learn to do better in the future. One thing I have learned is that saying become cliché’s for a reason. So many people have made the same damn mistake that now it's like "Please refer to page 17 and cliché #121".  I am remembering my Grandfather's wisdom right now. He use to say, "Don't stay to long at the fair". Which as a child seemed.... RIDICULOUS! Who in their right mind would leave a Fair early? Dude! Seriously? As I've gotten older that advice has applied to so many area of my life. To often we stay in situations way longer then we should for reasons that don't really hold water. It does not matter how good the sex is...when the relationship is over you need to get out. Right now I'm dealing with a job situation. I stayed longer they I should have hoping it would get better but of course it never did. Two years in I’m fired and filing an assault charge against my Manager. I should have gotten out at the one-year mark but I stayed to long at the Fair. Drama!

Cause We've All Thought Just This One Time....

 

 

We all try to be responsible. However sometime despite your good sense your body goes into autopilot. He looks good. She smells like sex. The air in the room shifts. One thing leads to the next and BLAM!! Your wondering where in the hell your panties/boxers are? Should you or someone you know find yourself in that position I have lifted this information from the NYU Medical Center website. Hope you never need it BUT someone you know might! ;-p

 

M*SHP Project 36:00

Please dial (646) 501-5200
to see if you should start PEP (Post Exposure Prophylaxis)
24 Hours / 7 Days a Week

M*SHP Project 36:00 provides free, convenient 24 hour access to HIV medications that may prevent infection after a high risk exposure. You have 36:00 hours after the exposure to take action and start these medications (called PEP) to prevent infection.

High risk exposures include:

• Unprotected anal sex
• Unprotected vaginal sex
• Oral sex with exchange of body fluid

Please dial (646) 501-5200 to see if you should start PEP.

M*SHP Project 36:00 will provide the first four days of medications and will set up an urgent appointment at our clinic for testing and continuation of these preventive medications for the full 28 days required to prevent infection. No matter what your insurance status is we will work with you to make sure that you have access to free or affordable medications to complete the 28 days required to prevent infection. Nothing is a sure thing, but PEP puts the odds in your favor. Comprehensive HIV and STD testing and risk reduction counseling are part of our service. Act now.

THERE IS NO EMERGENCY ROOM VISIT NEEDED TO START PEP.

The clock is ticking.  You have 36:00 hours to prevent HIV.

ACT NOW!

Flaws & All....

 

No matter how perfect a diamond may appear it still contains flaws.  We try to razzle dazzle others with our shine hoping they won’t see our fragility. We don’t realize it’s the messiness, the humanness that draws people to us and eventually draws their love. I am strong because I am weak.  Yet even if we love each other despite or because of imperfections how much is too much? Can someone be to flawed… to broken to be loved? Where is the turn off between respecting and loving someone else’s humanity and accepting that no matter how much you may deny it your compassion does have a bottom?

 I am not a selfish person but then again maybe I am.  I needed him to meet me halfway. To acknowledge both verbally and in actions how he felt about me and if he cared. He wanted me to cross blindly into his territory, with no protection, no compass and nothing to keep me warm. From his words and actions he had known the pain of unrequited love but not love. Maybe not even compassion, let alone passion.  I wanted to be that soft place for him to land. But I could not tread blindly into that good night.

 Every word I uttered was scrutinized. Every action dissected. Every wise-ass comment was mined until he found the hard nugget of truth. It felt as if the empty spaces and barren places in his life were morphing into a form of abuse in my own. What is the tipping point? My desire for a relationship kept me second-guessing what my spirit kept telling me was true. He was not the one. Even now I question could I have done more and done better? Why was I not willing to dive into the deep end of that pool blindfolded? The answer? Cause my Momma didn’t raise no fool.

Eventually if we are wise we accept that while everyone should be loved it does not mean you have to be the one to love them. 

"you are responsible for you own happiness. Happiness never comes from outside of you.

If you put your happiness in someone else's hands, they can always take it away.

Happiness can only come from inside you and is the result of your love" ~ Unknown

Thankful

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough"

~ Oprah Winfrey